I think I first heard about Etsy around 4 years ago when a baby birth board acquaintance of mine announced she was crocheting baby hats/headbands and opening an online store. I quickly became obsessed with all the great things I could find and it has become a regular place to shop when I am looking for unique and special gifts. I was going to make a wish list and write about all the things I want from Etsy (which is endless) but decided that I would first talk about some of my favourite things that I have bought from there over the years. Most of my list is compiled of things that I have purchased for my kids except the map pillow and the Mr. Tea mug (my mug is pink). Those two were a treat for myself after pining for them for at least a year before I saved up and bought them. I love, love, love Etsy. I love how I love how I am able to find things that are so in tune to my kid’s personalities.  One kid loves Harry Potter and Doctor who, while the other loves yellow, dressing up as animals, and her nickname is squirrel. Every time I go on here I find more great things to add to my list.

1. Mr Tea mug | by LennyMud
2. “Don’t Blink” Weeping Angel handmade card | by amysnotdeadyet
3. Handmade leather toddler shoes | by starryknightdesign
4. Squirrel Pillow | by mybeardedpigeon
5. Harry Potter charm bracelet | by MonsterBrand
6. Wicked Witch bookmark | by MyBookmark
7. Child Luxe Lion Coat | by littlegoodall
8. Map of Europe Pillow | by mybeardedpigeon
9. Personalized wire necklace | by CarissasSilverLining

I know this is being written after New Years but I had thought I had posted this January 1st. Apparently I didn’t post and ended up deleting the entire thing instead. Whoops. I will blame that on imbibing too much New Years Eve. Hubby had to work so I was home with the kids solo. They drank water out of an empty wine bottle and I drank sparking wine, after fighting to get it open and spraying it up the wall and on the kids (who ended up smelling like little alcoholics.) It was fun though. We watched fireworks from our balcony, wore fancy hats and greeted the New Year as a family.

On New Years day I noticed the barrage of memes for New Years as I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed. Inspirational quotes, funnies, and the ones that mock (also funny). I saw this one the most though. I don’t know if it is actually a quote by Brad Paisley or if it is one of those “if it is said enough, people believe it” deals. I don’t really care because I actually had to Google “Brad Paisley” to ensure he was actually who I thought he was. I’m obviously not a country fan. I just kind of like though quote even if it has a little bit of cheese factor.

For the first time in my life I actually followed through with a resolution this year. I am trying to learn french and I promised myself that I would do some kind of French studying each day for the year. My minimum requirement was to complete a lesson or two in Duolingo each day and add things to it when I had time. As of January 1st I had fulfilled my year resolution! Check out the 365 say streak beside the little picture of the fire below.

The OCD in me won’t allow me to stop working on it each day until I complete the whole French tree. That is not a bad thing so maybe that will be my minor resolution this year.

My main resolution is to be able to do a yoga handstand without the support of a wall. We shall see if I am being over confident in my abilities. Overall fitness would be great but I figure if I work at this handstand I will have some semblance of fitness at the end since you need a strong core to lift yourself up. I do have a skinny fat problem and need to tone it up, so along with working on the handstand I will do both yoga and HIIT with (Bodyrock.tv) each week. Fitness resolutions are so cliche but I am definitely not getting any younger, noticing some sag in not happy areas and would really like to improve the way I feel about myself.

Here’s hoping that I don’t waste any potential exercise time on binge watching Friends on Netflix.

Happy 2015 xo

Once again I start the new year off as a stay at home mom*. As a stay at home mom I often have the same pipe dream wishes as many other moms out there. Life with a maid, chef, trainer, chauffeur…. These are those things that float through your mind when you finally get that relaxing bath at the end of the day (or middle of the day depending on nap schedules).  You know, those first few moments after you slip into the hot water and exhale deeply. In between that exhalation and when the door bursts open and children come running in screeching like tiny Viking marauders. Those wishes are common and usually follow a long, hard day, a never-ending pile of laundry, dishes, or after realizing your favourite pants are getting a little bit snug.

But shocking as it is, that hasn’t been on my mind much. What has been on my mind a lot lately is something of a different manner. I don’t know if it is because it is the season for after Christmas spending guilt, or just the roller coaster of life, but I have noticed a lot of women I know have been talking about their financial struggles at home recently. More than once I have heard someone say, “I love staying at home with the kids, but man I wish I could contribute financially to the family.” I am not going to be arrogant and surmise that every stay at home mom wants this, but the women I interact with daily, friends of friends, family, things I have read from women who are also stay at home moms. All these women seem to mention at some time or another that they wish that they could contribute financially to their family but also remain home. So the wish seems to be for more job opportunities for us who choose to stay at home to raise our kids, but would also like to do something more.

That really doesn’t seem to be a lot to ask and I am sure to some it is not. To a lot of us though, we just don’t have the what they are looking for. Passed by without even a second glance. I’m not talking about jobs making money sewing, knitting or crafting on Etsy. While I love to buy those things (I have a huge Etsy list) and admire people who have the talent to do it, I am not a crafty person. I am more booky and technical. So everything that I see for any type of home based work I could do, needs either a) a lot of experience, or b) some degree that takes many years to get. I don’t have either. I have about 10 years experience working in retail. More than half of those years were managerial positions. I spent four years in college and took three different things. I didn’t finish any of those degrees due to an unfortunate bad decision on my behalf (sorry mom and dad). I took Museum Studies, Travel and Tourism, Marketing, and for shits and giggles I took a semester accounting course several years ago just to see if I could do it. I could.

So while I have a some varied school experience, I never finished any of it therefore I might as well have not taken anything. Which is frustrating because the last time I was in school was 2003 and I JUST finished paying off my loans in 2013. It was all for nothing. I pretty much paid a lot of money to party, live on my own, excessively drink, go to keggers, and eat a lot of street meat. I can’t even go back and try to finish these degrees because after a certain amount of time they become null and void and you have to start over. So that was a decade of loan payments for a whole lot of nothing which makes me sad of the lost opportunity. I would do a lot better if I went to school at this age than I ever did in my early 20’s since I am in a completely different mindset. I no longer believe I am invincible.

Back to my complete lack of experience and education. I can’t do anything from home because I am not “qualified”. I’m smart though, I work hard, I am really good at figuring out how to do stuff on my own, and I am willing to learn like a lot of friends of mine that are in the same boat. But in this day and age they don’t want to have to invest any time into you to teach you anything.They want to be able to say your hired, here is your work, submit when complete. And if you can’t do that the next person in line will. I know there is a lot of us out there, sitting at home just wishing there was something else we could do. Some way to help to alleviate the burden of sole financial responsibility so why hasn’t someone solved this dilemma yet? I mean, there is a huge market worldwide of us SAHM’s and I have never come across anything that is attainable without a list of credentials or a portfolio. That is the Catch 22. I need to go back to school to get qualified to get a job but I can’t afford to go back to school, so I need a job. It is the never ending roundabout and I am just so dizzy and so tired of going around.

The second job I ever had (aside from babysitting) was for a small boutique. I didn’t have any experience in retail at that point but I was young, charming and willing to work. Several years later when the business closed, I remember my boss telling me on our final day “You were the best chance I ever took.” I walked home crying that day.  I wish I could stick that on my resume and use it as my selling point.

*Every time I say stay at home mom, I actually mean stay at home parent. I don’t want to not be inclusive of those stay at home dads too. I am just talking from my own experience of myself and women I know.

I have been dyeing* my hair for a really long time. And by long time I don’t mean early to mid  2000’s, like some younger people may think is a long time. I mean way back to around 1994, when your choices for hair colour weren’t quite as plentiful and you thought you were badass by using Sun-In hair lightener. I don’t remember the brand of hair dye that propelled me into a two decade foray into hair colouring, but I do remember that I had thought it wasn’t permanent and was pissed off when I started showing roots. No one had told me back then that even if the label says temporary or semi permanent, if you choose a colour lighter than your current shade it will become permanent. Well, I am sure my mom would have told me if I had let on that I was going to colour my hair. Whoops. Lesson learned the hard way. Ironically enough the accidental change in hair colour actually made me into Sara Mchotty pants in high school. Previously I was a skinny girl with thick glasses, but with the addition of contacts and blonde hair, BAM, I started being noticed.

I stayed blonde mostly with only a few detours into different shades over the years. Black hair being a really bad colour for me (and of course high school yearbook photos happened during the 3 days I had black hair. Now that shit is documented forever), red was meh, and a brown shade that was dyed to match my roots was actually a good colour for my complexion and I really liked it but for some reason I always went back to blonde. I think I just like that extra bit of oomph that blonde gave me. And by oomph I mean male attention, and by male I also mean a few female. So regardless of how badly damaged my hair was I continued the process. There was a few years span that I was bleaching my hair Gwen Stefani light and damaged my hair ridiculously. Like, cut my hair off in chunks because it was almost melting kind of damaged. It kind of worked out though because it was the perfect time to have a short, blonde, choppy do like the style icon of that period, Drew Barrymore.

Fast forward to today and although my hair is still very light, it is more of a golden shade and way less damaged. It is long, people like it, but the roots are so annoying. So I have been contemplating going brunette and I don’t know whether I should do it. Since I am 35, I figure if I want to try a brown shade I should probably attempt it before I start going grey. Although my mom is in her early 60’s and still doesn’t have very much grey. I have tried those apps that allow you to try on different hairstyles, but honestly I think they are just for shits and giggles because I always look terrible. Every time it makes my nose and head look big. Unless my nose and head are actually big and I am in denial, and if that is the case I don’t understand why I was ever Sara Mchotty pants.  Unless I actually wasn’t and I imagined that shit……

Decision pending.

* I actually Googled dyeing vs dying to make sure I was using the right spelling. I am an over thinker . Even though dying could also actually apply to hair colouring since it is so bad for you. But that would be another blog post and also it’s a little late for me to worry about the harmful effects of hair dye.