My husband always referred to himself as a musician. Any job he worked he considered secondary. A means to allow him to continue playing music. He is an extremely hardworking guy with a huge passion. When we first met and were married he worked for his family business as a goldsmith. He worked in the shop daily with his mom and dad for as long as he could remember. It was his fail safe, his security that he had to fall back on. No one thought about the bad that could happen that would mess up this fail safe. His dad got unexpectedly sick and died shortly after in April 2007. It was a shock and rocked our world both emotionally and financially. His dad who was the one sure thing in his life and in the shop was no longer there. Neither Tom or his mom wanted to continue working there without out him and it was really tough for all while they struggled through the many obstacles and decisions they faced.
During this time Tom had talked with a close friend about music and this friend showed him some songs he wrote. Tom loved them and forwarded them to his friend who was in the industry. This escalated very quickly and the band Before The Curtain formed with Tom being the bass player. Bass is his instrument. They recorded an album and had a hit on the radio called I Want it All. It looked promising and so him and his mom decided to close the goldsmith shop so he could focus on this music. We knew it was a gamble but I had to let him pursue his dream. I would expect him to support me and this type of opportunity rarely comes around. He toured with this band in the summer of 2012. But due to unforeseeable circumstances and the unpredictability of the industry it didn’t propel further than that. During this time he also met a guy who was a fan of the band. This lead to friendships and connections and then to a job working in the tv/movie industry.
In 2013 Tom’s close friend left a band of relative size and popularity unexpectedly and wanted to branch out on his own. He asked Tom to play bass for him in this solo band. Because the closeness off their relationship he said yes, he really wanted to play with him. This was the development of The Adam Gontier Band in which he was once again a bass player. Being in this band involved leaving the country a lot for shows which led to him being unable to work. This period of time was financially our lowest and we were struggling very, very badly during it. So badly that we were close to going to the food bank on several occasions and were only saved from this by selling off some instruments. He was still determined to make a go at it though and had faith in this friend so we trucked through the hardships with our fingers crossed.
Fast forward to today. Tom is no longer a part of The Adam Gontier Band. We just couldn’t do it financially. Not with two kids to support. If he was single the story may have played out differently. Maybe not. Being away from his family for extended periods of time was really hard on him emotionally as well. That tied with the money problems made him pursue the tv/movie job full force. It has been our most stable year to date although he works up to 85 hours a week sometimes. It’s hard for him, and for us but he does his best. He is an extremely hard worker and for that I am so proud and grateful.
Lesson learned from this: Don’t be foolish enough to put your dreams in someone else’s hands, because they will never care about yours as much as they care about their own.
Keep dreaming guys. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t. But you will forever regret it if you don’t try.
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